Finding what makes my heart speak.

I would be blatantly lying to you if I said I didn’t feel the clichè love at first sight experience that you read about in fairytales. From the very beginning I knew I loved him.

 

The old saying rings true, age ain’t nothing but a number. Having spoken to a handful of couples with a similar gap in age, they also agree that it just works. The 15 year age difference presents itself virtually nowhere within our relationship aside from maybe missing the occasional 80s movie quote thrown my way, or him expecting me to not find humor in the idea of him singing on his school bus in white Cavariccis and a Coral crop top.. Oh.. and more importantly.. when you realize that they’ve experienced 15 years of their life prior to you even existing; and those ‘first moments’ and milestones that you long for aren’t exactly sought after because they’ve already been experienced prior to you falling head over heels.

 

Everyone can see it. Be it from the way we interact in public or the way that I’m often caught gazing at him during our live sales; The best way to describe the pure and unconditional love I have for him, well, if the sun rises and sets around a single thing in this universe, it’s him.

 

Now, I’m not going to sit here and act as though we are perfect (though I feel we do come pretty close), We do have our share of downs throughout our more-often-than-not ups. We can completely CRUSH a house project together, but the road getting to the finish line can occasionally be met with miscommunication and/or frustration. I’m human and I can be insecure, just as much as he. However going back to the age difference, our biggest hurdle is the decision to add a child of our own into the already occurring chaos.

 

As a woman, I feel like a lot of us can truly feel when you’ve been given this life to bring small humans into it. I also know that it’s heartbreakingly common for women to not be able to have a child, for various reasons.. some of which cannot be changed. I cannot even imagine the pain felt when you hear those words and I am deeply sorry to anyone who is going through this, I wish I could hug anyone who is. Virtually, of course.

 

I’m not comparing, rather making mention that It’s just a different kind of hurt when the reason you don’t have a child isn’t because your body won’t allow it, but because you and your partner aren’t on the same page.

 

Thus brings me to the subject I referred to in my introduction that causes me to pour my heart out with emotion..

 

I would give anything to be a mom; not just with anyone, but with him.


3 comments


  • Carli Heringer

    Oh Crystal, I’m so sorry my friend. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I know that this will touch someone’s heart needing to feel that they’re not alone. Hugs to you, and I’mpraying for you and Guy. ♥️


  • Kendra

    Love your heart Crystal. Virtual hugs ❤️❤️


  • Alexa Clemons

    I hate that you’re going through this. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the hurt. I hope one day soon things work out for the best and you guys are on the same page❤️ Love you!!!


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